Effort, Attitude, & Reality

Throughout this process, ask the men whether they had ever gone through something similar. Does this ring a bell for any of you? Have you ever experienced something similar? Acknowledging the shared experience and maintaining objectivity in your responses to participants is important.

OVERVIEW

This session allows participants to examine “leaving a legacy.”

LEARNING OUTCOME

MATERIALS/RESOURCES

Journals/Composition Notebooks, Pens/Pencils, The Hour Glass

ACTIVITY 1 Building a Legacy Time: 30-40 minutes

Discussion & Written Responses

"The life you live is the legacy you leave."

“Are you on this planet to do something, or are you here just for something to do?”

  • What does the quote mean to you?
  • Take fifteen minutes to think about your legacy. Record your thoughts using the following L.I.F.E. themes and select several words that best describes each theme. L = Lessons I = Ideals F = Feelings E = Expressions
  • What vital Lessons do you hope others will say you are passing on (e.g., she taught me how to face adversity with grace and determination; he taught me what it means to be a coach)?
  • What Ideals, values, and/or principles do you hope people will say you stand for (e.g., she stood for freedom and justice; he believed in always telling the truth, even when it wasn't what people wanted to hear)?
  • What Feelings do you hope people will say they have/had when being with you or when thinking about you (e.g., she always made me feel I was capable of doing the impossible; he made me feel important)?
  • What lasting expressions or contributions will family members and friends say that you leave to them (e.g. she is really the one who keep this family together, built this home; his dedication to others lives on in those homes he helped build every Saturday as he gave his time to helping others)? Review your L.I.F.E. responses above. As you consider what you wrote, what is the central theme in your legacy

Next Steps

  • Participants will discuss and determine the type of legacy they wish to create.
  • Upon hearing musical selections, participants will Sequence events, summarize ideas, identify conflicts and resolutions, identify cause-and-effect relationships, analyze characters, and problem-solve through group discussion.
  • Participants will reflect on their roles as a father, their relationship with the father, and their relationship with their children.
  • Please share your L.I.F.E. Theme words at your table.
  • Keep the card and refer to it when discussing the Action Plans.
  • Keep the card where you can see the words every day for the next 30 days

ACTIVITY 2 Triggering & Responses Time: 30 minutes

Introduction: Something happens, and you feel threatened and angry very rapidly. Your feelings may become very intense very quickly. Perhaps your heart is beating fast, or your hands are clenched.

This exercise is intended to bring a group together to explore triggering and also thinking about participant-derived tools. This process also addresses the issue of not feeling alone in these life experiences, which is a huge component of healing and group work.

Discussion

Have you ever felt this? Have you ever been there? Give some examples.

Please describe what happened. How were you triggered?

How did you feel (emotions)? Or, what feelings were you having?

What did you feel in your body? Sensations?

What helped you? What did you do to help yourself and to avoid escalating?

Does this ring a bell for any of you? Have you ever experienced something similar? It is important to acknowledge and process the shared experience.

What/how did you feel? What did you feel in your body?

What helped you?

What did you do? What have the rest of you done to help yourselves in these situations?

*Facilitator: Ask for some examples. Ask for a volunteer to go deeper… Remind them they can stop anytime. It helps to pick someone who brings up a triggering situation that is not extreme or overwhelmingly intense.

Throughout this process, ask the men whether they had ever gone through something similar. Does this ring a bell for any of you? Have you ever experienced something similar? Acknowledging the shared experience and maintaining objectivity in your responses to participants is important.

Kenneth D. Thompson

fatherhood program specialist
Read more
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